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And in the ’ more populous Wedding Announcements section, 93 out of some 1,000 couples profiled this year met on dating apps—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, and other specialized dating apps designed for smaller communities, like JSwipe for Jewish singles and Muz Match for Muslims.The year before, 71 couples whose weddings were announced by the Matt Lundquist, a couples therapist based in Manhattan, says he’s started taking on a less excited or expectant tone when he asks young couples and recently formed couples how they met.The 30-year-old Jess Flores of Virginia Beach got married to her first and only Tinder date this past October, and she says they likely would have never met if it weren’t for the app.For starters, Flores says, the guys she usually went for back in 2014 were what she describes as “sleeve-tattoo” types.That’s kind of weird, and there’s a greater opportunity for people to be ridiculous, to be not nice.”Many of the stories of bad behavior Lundquist hears from his patients take place in real life, at bars and restaurants.“I think it’s become more ordinary to stand each other up,” he says, and he’s had many patients (“men and women, though more women among straight folks”) recount to him stories that end with something along the lines of, “Oh my God, I got to the bar and he sat down and said, ‘Oh.“Because a few of them will say to me, ‘Uhhh, we met on Tinder’—like, ‘Where else do you think we would have met?
“People who are not very similar to their romantic partners end up at a greater risk for breaking up or for divorce,” she says.
You don’t look like what I thought you looked like,’ and walked away.”But other users complain of rudeness even in early text interactions on the app.
Some of that nastiness could be chalked up to dating apps’ dependence on remote, digital communication; the classic “unsolicited dick pic sent to an unsuspecting match” scenario, for example.
The relationship economy has certainly changed in terms of people are looking for is largely the same as it ever was: companionship and/or sexual satisfaction.
Meanwhile, the underlying challenges—the loneliness, the boredom, the roller coaster of hope and disappointment—of being “single and looking,” or single and looking for Sean Rad and Justin Mateen, two of Tinder’s founders, have said in interviews that the inspiration for Tinder came from their own general dissatisfaction with the lack of dating opportunities that arose naturally—or, as Rad Tinder has indeed helped people meet other people—it has expanded the reach of singles’ social networks, facilitating interactions between people who might never have crossed paths otherwise.